January 9, 2013 § 1 Comment
Seen first on SailingAnarchy.com.
Energy drink marketers are way smarter than I. After all, in the last 10 years they’ve invented new and novel ways to get folks to pay $7 billion more for caffeine. It’s the equivalent of repositioning the hot-dog as la cuisine gastronomique. Genius.
But this time, I think they’re really on to something. They might even Save Sailing!
Look around. Sailing is changing. It’s getting faster and way more fun for the pros. So the pros need helmets. And helmets need logos. Any savvy marketer will tell you those logos should reflect the target audience’s grandest aspirations. For example, everyone knows that NFL fans prefer tasteless beer and pizza.
What an honor it is for sailors to have caught the attention of said brilliant energy drink marketers, even in our advanced age. We’re no longer lowly connoisseurs of platinum timepieces and French champagne. No, thankfully, we sailors have just been promoted to the gas station drink cooler.
It’s a new day for sailing. Shed the pretension. Blue blood be damned. Let’s get real about our awesome sport. It’s extreme. It’s in yer face. It’s for guys with huge trucks.
Popeye, meet Viagra.
Update (01/16/2013): Here is what the Anarchists had to say. My favorite comment:
Skoal Bandit KWRW ?
June 9, 2012 § 2 Comments
First published on SailingAnarchy.com, June 2012.
Never accept a meeting request when the executive’s assistant starts with “he would like to tell you his ideas.” I did it this time and got burned.
These are the ideas of the head of AC-34’s Event Authority, in a nutshell:
- The financiers are tiring of the spend.
- Professional sailors can’t make a living.
- There aren’t enough amateur sailors supporting this pyramid.
So this AC will invent new TV heroes to attract fans to fund year-round professional sailors, take the financiers off of the hook, and transfer the costs to an unwitting couch-bound audience duped into an overpriced hat and a junkmailbox crammed with offers from sponsors. “We’re building a new pyramid.”
Oh, and sailors should sit quiet and be pleased, “’cause you get the trickle down.”